Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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