well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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