I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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