Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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