Don't you send me to vm
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
