fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
