I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
