Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
