u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
