I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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