so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
