I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
