You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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