I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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