i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
