just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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