Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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