Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Randomize
