He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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