ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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