singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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