the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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