dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
