My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
