evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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