my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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