woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
