is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
