She said her name was "party"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
