i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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