I'm drive I can fine osifer
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
