Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
