can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He kissed a someone with a penis
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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