Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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