A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
