porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
