Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
