some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
