So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
