Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
