Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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