Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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