That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
