Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
