Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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