His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
