Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
