Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
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