idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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