did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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