oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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