just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
