I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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