roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
