gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
