She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
