so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
worst night to have a conscience
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
