Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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