Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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