What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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