I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
