gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
