And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
