I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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