the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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