The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
