evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
